New Comix! - Week of 10/3/12

Well, this year's big Marvel crossover event, Avengers Vs X-men, came to a yawning conclusion this week.  Might as well review it now.

AvX (Avengers vs X-men) #12

This 12-issue mega-crossover of the Summer is finally over!  Thank goodness!

In issue #11, Cyclops took sole possession of the Phoenix Force, promptly killed his father-figure, Professor X, and became the evil Dark Phoenix.  In this issue we see the Avengers deciding that the only way to beat the Phoenix was by the combined powers of Scarlet Witch and Hope (the "Mutant Messiah") and the kung-fu training of the Iron Fist.  Fast-forward to the big fight and Cyclops is wading through Avengers and X-men alike, booting Hulk to Nicaragua (or someplace else far away...who cares, right?), punching Thor to Russia, sneezing Beast to Wyoming....you get the point.  Then Scarlet Witch and Hope are there and lay into him.  The Witch is using her mutant "hex" powers and Hope is using her mutant power to mimic the hex powers while focusing them with her week-long study of kung-fu to devastating effect.  It turns out that the Phoenix's biggest weakness is a combination of the lamest powers on Earth.  They beat him and the Phoenix Force enters Hope.  Instead of going crazy, she uses the power to circle the globe and put out all those darn fires that Cyclops made as he attempted the world's largest barbecue.  Coming back to the scene of the battle, she joins hands with the Scarlet Witch and together they fullfill their weird destiny and together say, "No More Phoenix", thus destroying the Phoenix Force and dissipating it's energies.  The issue ends with Cyclops in a ruby jail sale where Captain America is trying in vain to give him the biggest guilt trip in history.  In the end he tells Cyclops that one thing he DID learn was that he and the Avengers should have done more to stem the prejudices  against mutants, and that he is reforming the Avengers lineup to include more of them.  With that news and the news of new mutants appearing across the globe after the Phoenix's demise, Cyclops is actually pretty happy with the outcome.  He saved mutantkind and the Avengers are working for Mutant rights.

Y'know, I'm being very snarky, but this wasn't a bad comic book or a bad story.  It just didn't wow me, like crossovers in the past have.  It was okay.  Was it worth the approximate $74 I spent on it over the past 12 weeks, not really.  Maybe next year I'll skip the big crossover for the first time since the first one (House of M?).  There were fun moments, but I have to be choosy with my purchases as comic prices increase.  Should've passed on this one.

- A finale worthy of a big, collective, "Meh".

Versus #6

Finally this series comes to an end also!

This tie-in series was no-story, all-action and that's all it was intended for.  In the final issue we see Hope and Scarlet Witch duking it out in the first-half, and a series of one-shot battles for the 2nd half.  Quick scorecard: Hope beats Scarlet Witch, Cap beats Cyclops in a verbal abuse contest, all the Marvel scientists beat on each other with physical violence and sciency phrases and no one wins because no one can understand what's going on, Havok beats Cap, Domino beats Red Hulk, Jarvis beats Toad, Hawkeye thinks dirty thought about Spider-Woman fighting different hot superhero ladies and we all win, Iceman beats Iron Fist, and I don't get the last one.  

This is a brainless comic book, but the second-half was super-fun!  I needed that after such a serious, joyless series finale.

- Funny stuff!  Pick of the Week!

Axe Cop: President of the World #3

Let the weirdness continue!

An evil space scientist has kidnapped a random human and injects him with the DNA of everything to create the evil "Everyman"!  Back on Earth, a giant gorilla made of green goo is ravaging the city.  Axe Cop uses his pencil gun to draw his friend, Goo Cop, back to life.  Goo Cop combines with their gorilla friend, Junior Cobbb to combat the giant monster.  Since Axe Cop redrew Goo Cop as gold goo instead of his previous green, Goo Cop wins the fight.    Suddenly, Everyman shows up and explodes into everything at once.  Literally. He becomes a giant monster created out of millions of things like wrestlers, dinosaurs, pigs, octopuses, nunchucks, ect.  Axe Cop's response is, "I think he's is AWESOME.  I want him on MY team."    Goo Cop quickly turns into a rocketship and they fly off to the lair of the evil space scientist.  As soon as they get there, he cuts off Axe Cop's head, much to the dismay of his friends.  Luckily, Axe Cop has a robotic spider in his neck that picks up his head and puts it back on his body.  Then, the robot in his moustache gives him a golden axe and he cuts the scientist in half.  Then, he has his scientist friend with a unicorn horn, Uni-Man, create a super good-guy potion that turns Everyman into a good guy as well as the giant supremely evil robots, Tu and Bu, from the last issue.  No Axe Cop's team consists of himself, Ralph Wrinkles the dog, Goo Cop, Junior Cobbb the gorilla with gun fists, Everyman, Tu, and Bu.  Next he turns his attention to the two evil aliens who started this whole mess and turned Goo Cop and his family into goo.  The aliens have built a robot Axe Cop look-a-like and are addressing the people of the Earth, commanding them to all stab themselves to death, since he is President of the World.  Just before everyone on Earth commits suicide, the robot Axe Cop is handed a note from the REAL Axe Cop.  The note explains that they are stupid and that he used his pencil gun to draw a duplicate Earth and had all the real people moved to that planet and then he replaced them all with robot duplicates full of explosives.  The aliens were now on a planet full of explosive robots who were about to stab themselves and blow up all at once.  The world stabbed itself and the Earth blew up, along with the stupid aliens.  One month later, Axe Cop has become bored with the new peaceful planet and being only President of the Earth.  He decides to also become the President of Karate and earns his black belt in three hours.  Then he went to a secret cave and learned the rest of Karate that no one else knows and becomes the first man on Earth to earn the coveted Tiger Belt.  "He was now the President of the World...and Karate."

While the bizarre storyline starts to lose some of it's sparkle by the 3rd issue, this is still a brilliant book and makes me smile everytime a new one comes out.  

- Good juvenile humor!

Weekly Comix! - Week of 7/18/12

I'm juggling a lot of graphic design/illustration projects at the moment, so I've fallen about a week behind on my comic reviews, but I'm committed to keep them coming.

Avengers vs X-Men #8
The Phoenix 5 are starting to show signs of breaking as Namor sets off on his own to destroy the Avengers in Wakanda.  The Avengers lure him in and then go "Avengers Assemble" on his butt.  Namor gets ambushed by Spidey, Thing, Thor, Red Hulk, Dr. Strange, Vision & Valkyrie.  They beat him down pretty hard at first, but then he catches his breath and breaks Red Hulks arm to the point of bones sticking out of red skin!  As the tide turns in Namor's favor, Scarlet Witch steps in and matches Namor's power with her Magic.  Vision catches Wanda as both fighters collapse and the rest of the X-men show up.  At their arrival, the Phoenix Force leaves Namor and divides that power between the remaining 4, to their surprise.  The Avengers on the other hand, retreat to the mystical kung-fu city that is home to Iron Fist.  As they stand there, catching their breath, Hope asks, "So...what's the plan?  Is there a plan?"  and no one has an answer.

I feel like the plot is getting a bit stale again, but at least there was one heck of a fight to keep readers entertained.  Adam Kubert stepped in on art duties and did a good job, though I prefer Olivier Coipel's art personally.  Overall a good issue, but it didn't really move the story along very much.  I'm interested to see how the Phoenix 4 respond to the revelation that when one of them falls, the others become more powerful.  I wouldn't be surprised if they start turning on each other.

Saga #5
The weirdest, most entertaining series of the year continues with this opening scene.

Why, yes, that IS a robot prince sitting on a toilet!

Issue 5 starts off with the pooping robot (one of the generals of the war) being informed by his robot wife that she's expecting a baby, but that his father won't let him come home until he catches the two runaway soldiers and their baby, even if he misses the birth of his own child.  The robot pooper vows to be home in the first trimester.

His prey happens to be the star-crossed lovers that are the heroes of our little story.  As the focus shifts from the bathroom to the happy couple, they are being confronted by 6 soldiers from Alana's military (the "wings").  Marko tries to warn them away, but they get the orders to "pacify" and start firing.  Alana takes a slug in the shoulder and Marko quickly forgets all about his vow of pacifism.  He rushes forward with his blue, glowing sword and takes out all 6 soldiers.  He's about to kill them, when Alana stops him.  The rage leaves his face and he thanks her.   They tie up the soldiers, steal their ship and make their getaway.

In another part of the galaxy, the bounty hunter known as "The Will" is trying leave the sex planet, Sextillion, with the 6 year old prostitute he just saved.  He is confronted by her "owner" and realizes that the only way he can save the girl is to buy her contract, which is way more than he can afford.  He quickly calls fellow bounty hunter, The Stalk, to reconsider her offer of teaming up to catch Alana & Marko and split the profits.  On the other end of the phone call, The Stalk is standing by the captured soldiers shortly after the couple has escaped.  She tells him she's not interested in teaming up anymore and he says he only turned her down the first time because he's in love with her and was angry about the way they ended things.  Just then the Robot Prince rides up on a horse, hoping to capture the couple, sees The Stalk, thinks she's reaching for a weapon and he blows a hole in her chest.

This story is SO good!  It's amazing that they have managed to fit this much story into only 5 issues!  I'm hoping that the death of The Stalk will put The Will on the side of our heroes and he'll help them out instead of hunting them down.  He has been shown to be a pretty good guy deep down, despite being a tough bounty hunter, and I'd like to see him become the Han Solo to Marko's Luke Skywalker.

Before naming this book Pic of the Week I need to remind potential readers that this is a MATURE TITLE.  There are boobs and bad language in every issue so far.  If you're old enough to handle that kind of thing, then pick this story up.  If not, get a little older then buy the trade paperback.

- Pick of the Week!!!

Wonder Woman #11
The only DC title I'm currently following is the weak link in this week's comic stack, but that's not saying it was bad.  Just not quite as good.

In this issue, Wonder Woman's friend, and soon to be aunt...sort of, is at her small-town doctor's office for a pregnancy check-up.  While she's in the office, Apollo and Artemis show up intent on capturing the mother of Zeus's unborn child.  WW, Hermes, and Lennox try to stand against them, but they don't stand a chance and Lennox ends up getting punched in the stomach hard enough to crack his rock-hard form almost to the point of crumbling entirely.  Zola comes out of the office and sees the battle.  She hops in her truck and drives it into Apollo's back, only to have him survive the attack and grab her up under his arm.  Artemis and Apollo then leave with Zola leaving the heroes beaten in the mud.

The next scene is in Olympus where Apollo presents the pregnant lady to the vengeful Queen of the Gods, Hera, who then gives Apollo his reward, the recently vacated throne of Zeus.  The King of the Gods has disappeared and the other gods have been fighting to see who would take his place, and it looks like Apollo has won the spot except...Wonder Woman and Hermes are standing on it ready for round 2!

This book got of track for a few issues, but it's picking back up now.  I'm still a big fan of playing up Diana's mythological background instead of making her a female Superman.  This approach is WAY more interesting and fun.  I'm glad I stuck through the slow issues.  I'm starting to get excited again.